Everyone wrote out their New Years thoughts the night before but, like with everything in my life, I’m always a day behind. So, here it goes.
2017 wasn’t the best year. It was a dumpster fire for me personally. The only bright spots were that I started writing again (well, fanfiction but it loosened up my writer’s block) and I found a show that woke me up again. Finally, a show that had a fascinating fanbase and interesting characters. A show that I didn’t start watching full time until this year. I know I’m beating around the bush and most you reading this know which show I am talking about. So, I’ll just say it.
Nah, just joking. Emmerdale has been a crazy trip this year, and I know many have been negative about it but I had one hell of a ride and hope to keep being able to watch well into 2018. Like I wrote once on Twitter (before I took my Twitter break) “Can we get Robron together before Trump kills us all?”
I see good things for the future. I see characters pushed aside last year getting their moment in the sun. I see challenges for Robron, but I also see reunion, wedding and working together through the challenges of the year. It feels dark, and some fans are focusing only on the negative, but it will get better. Dark before the light has come and gone. Its just a matter of time now. I feel it. In my gut. We are getting closer and closer by the episode.
I found and met AMAZING people through this show. It woke me up creatively. I started using some critical thinking to write up theories. I loved reading fanfiction and checking out all the art (this fandom is BEYOND smart and creative). My little endeavor of putting my opinion out there through a live review has become something people look forward to reading (To these lovely people…are you sure you enjoy my live review rantings? I look back on old ones, and I sound certifiably insane.). Even when I don’t agree, this fandom has been amazing to be a part of in every way. I haven’t watched a show like that in a very long time. I wish nothing but the best for the people I talk to, cry with, create with and hope with within this Emmerdale/Robron fandom. You are all amazing people. I wish some of you realized that.
Back to that personal dumpster fire, I was talking about. I gained a good amount of the weight I lost in 2016. I was a lot more negative, and I felt a bit lost for the better part of 2017. I wasn’t productive in the areas that I needed to be. I fell apart this year. That is why I will make 2018 different. I will push myself out of my comfortable box. I will read more. I won’t let public opinion sway me into negative land. I will be kinder to myself. I won’t allow myself and my shyness to make me miss opportunities. I’m not going to worry what people think (only my friends and family’s opinions matter in the end). I’m going to learn my self-worth. How I do matter. I’m going to change into something better. Not because society tells me I need to be in this place at this year. No, it’s for me. For my mental health. For my physical health. I want to be better for myself so I can be helpful to my community and world around me.
2018 is the year of undoing a lot of the negativity I gained in 2017. Positivity reigns supreme. That doesn’t mean I won’t backslide. Doesn’t mean I won’t fall back into old habits from time to time. Doesn’t mean I won’t be negative or mean to others. What will define the change? How I pick myself up and keep moving forward after backsliding. How I approach the situations, I have screwed up.
So, with that said, I look forward to 2018. 2017 is gone. We survived. Let’s survive again but make it one hell of a party.
I wish nothing but health, happiness and a bubble wrap blanket for everyone in 2018!