Aaron and Robert: Want vs Need

On Thursdays Maxine written episode Aaron says this line to Liv:

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“My counselor reckons what you want and what you need are different things sometimes.”

Which the Emmerdale Twitter account retweeted themselves. I’ve read about this line in a few fanfictions over the past year and maybe even talked about it briefly on Tumblr…somewhere. I can’t find it now, but I can’t get this line out of my head. I have to talk about it and how it relates to both Aaron and Robert as we seemly get to the point of this storyline that has driven fans a bit nuts (myself included).

Now, if you are human you naturally have needs and wants in life. Personally, and in your relationships. In a personal relationship (girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband) there can be an imbalance of needs vs. wants.  One blog entry, Wanting vs. Needing a Relationship, said:

I feel like you shouldn’t need in a new relationship. You should want. Because if you need, it means you weren’t a complete person when you entered into it. To want means that you are making a conscious decision to make room for this person in your life. But maybe that doesn’t feel secure enough to the other person.

One could guess, off that quote, that Robert and Aaron and their needs and wants are a big part of their breakup and their upcoming reunion.  Read on if you want to see how.

Aaron and Roberts Wants and Needs

Now, let’s get back to Aaron and Robert.  At the beginning of their affair, both ultimately needed each other for different reasons. Both were fulfilling a natural need while getting some nice extras on the side.  Robert needed to scratch an itch he refused to acknowledge out in public.  Aaron got some without having to run out to the bar every time and then making the walk of shame in front of his mother. What did both get? They both got someone to talk to without much judgment. Something both hadn’t really had in a long time.  Something they both secretly wanted. Even though it wasn’t always seen on camera, those two knew things about each other that they wouldn’t normally know unless they had some pillow talk.  Robert knew when Aaron was self-harming again and Aaron knew Robert was hiding his true feelings of bisexuality also hiding his love for Aaron.

Before the start of their real relationship, Aaron had needed Robert there to admit the abuse, get his family on board and then get Gordon put on trial for his crimes towards Aaron. Aaron couldn’t do it alone. He needed Robert to push forward. He needed Robert there for him to get through that trial and the after effects.  He needed Robert to hold onto for support.  That continued as they found Liv and after the trial. Aaron even saying he couldn’t know what to do without Robert. He could lose him.

That need made them very co-dependent on each other. Some online have said unhealthy co-dependent (It is a soap. Most soap couples are unhealthy.) which caused them to implode once they were pulled apart.  Since then, since the breakup, Aaron has purposely tried to get better, mentally and physically. Going to therapy, exercising, and trying to do things in his own way has made him a more complete person. He doesn’t need someone there to do what is right for him all the time. He doesn’t need someone to push him towards a better life. He can do that himself now.  He can stand on his own two feet.

Now, I think Robert was taught by Jack, he should want and need these things: a wife, money and some power.  He needed his father proud of him. Not what he wanted though.  He wanted to be happy with himself, be loved and have a warm, happy family.  We can argue that Robert had all of that with Aaron and Liv. The White Family was what Jack made him think he needed but not wanted.

Robert, since the breakup, has self-destructed. He has always been self-sufficient in the past, but since falling in love with Aaron and being honest with himself about his bisexuality, he has been opened emotionally. Something he tries to cut off but does horribly.  He has been opened and can’t go back to that old life or his old coping methods.  He needs Aaron more than ever.

I guess this means that Aaron has learned he doesn’t need Robert to be happy or a complete person but he wants Robert because he does love him, their life is never boring, and he is part of his family.  For once, Aaron is the strong one. Robert the weak. Robert needs Aaron to admit that his scheming isn’t going to help him in the long run, he needs his family (Aaron and Liv) on his side and needs to face the future and his responsibilities as a “dad.”

Since Aaron went to jail and everything that followed, Robert has been lost. He lost his home (Aaron), and he even lost what he found in that home. His true self and his true love. Now, he has fallen back into old habits deciding he needs to be like what Jack wanted (power and money) to fill that Aaron shaped hole. He needs Aaron to remind him of what is underneath and what he wants in life. He wants to be his true self, and he wants to be his true self with Aaron.

It’s a reverse of Aarons story the year before. That might have been the clue to this story all along. Aaron and Robert had to be torn down and rebuilt. Only Aaron is doing it first, and then he needs to help Robert come back from the revenge void. Then Robert can rebuild to not just needing Aaron but wanting Aaron for who he has become.

That might lead them to a reunion, becoming a stronger couple and then their real wedding. That was what we have been waiting for all along.

What do you think? Tell me below or tweet me your thoughts @AmandaJ718! Until I need to babble again, I’ll see you around in Emmerdale.

Help from Justine (@BeautifulHusbands) 

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