The Phoebe Buffay Confidence


The older I get, the more I appreciate the television show Friends. My first exposure to the show was when it was in its fifth season. I had turned eleven years old, and I found myself drawn to the show meant one thing to me.

Look at how cool it is to be an adult and live in the city! We can hang at a Coffeehouse and impressive apartments! Ross and Rachel forever you guys! I want to be like Rachel or Monica!

Yeah, since then I have grown up. The show is more of a fable of 20-somethings to 30-somethings trying to figure out their lives. Those tiny coffee houses are now Starbucks. There is no way, in the beginning at least, they could have lived in those apartments in Manhattan no less. I know Monica’s apartment is rent controlled but still, it would be up there in price. Ross and Rachel are not the healthiest couples to root for in the show (Monic and Chandler are awesome).

Finally, Rachel and Monica are still great, but Phoebe deserves some love too. At age eleven it never occurred to me that Phoebe was the one I should be looking up to on the show. I just came to this conclusion at age twenty-nine.

After a long rewatch on Netflix (hi couch boyfriend!), I came up with three rules that I believe makes Phoebe someone to adore and respect.

So, without further ado, here are the three rules of the Phoebe Buffay Confidence Plan.

 Don’t Care What People Think


This is a big one. It is also one of the hardest for anyone to accomplish.  Whether she is singing at Central Perk or running free through Central Park, Phoebe doesn’t care what others think of her. Since she doesn’t, she is a lot happier than the other characters. She has a tendency to do what she wants and enjoy it even when she fails.

Flirt Early and Often


Phoebe flirts with abandon. That ties into the whole ‘not caring what people think.’  A good amount of us would find just walking up to someone and flirting a daunting task, but Phoebe does it. She just goes for it, and regardless of what happens, she can say she tried. Also, it’s some of the finest dialogue in the show.

Bring Only Positive Energy into the Universe


Phoebe doesn’t have the greatest childhood. Her mom killed herself. Her dad was missing in action. Her twin sister is a terrible (still funny) human being.  Her grandma lied to her about technically being adopted. She lived on the streets and did anything to survive. Even though she went through all that she only wants to bring good into the world.  One would assume she would be cynical and angry at what the universe dealt her. Nope. She is someone who just keeps moving and spreading positivity whether people want her to or not.

If we follow this plan life would be a lot better. That is something I plan to this for the next month. I hope you try to do this as well.


Until next time, be as awesome as Phoebe Buffay and sing along to her songs.

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